12 weeks - a pregnancy oddessy

It's been some time since I last posted, so there have been huge changes in my wife and her bump.

We're now at 12 weeks and one day pregnant and 2 1/2 inches long, from crown to rump, fingerprints have formed, all major organs are operational and our wee one has a grip reflex which occurs automatically when the hand or foot is stimulated. The real purpose for the rest of the preganancy is for (s)he to grow bigger and stronger in order to survive the outside world.

We've had our booking in appointment with the midwife, who seems as if she knows what she's doing. that's a relief, because the student health visitor who was also there could only manage to hum, haar, coo and caw at anything we said - still, I'm sure it's a learning curve for her as well!

It's our first scan next week, and that's the key time. Until now, what I have found quite weird is that everyone we've told that we are pregnant - and by everyone I mean health professionals - has simply taken our word for it. My wife has given up taking positive pregnancy tests to appointments and given up offering to pee on sticks for people. It's so strange that nobody seems willing to confirm it!

Anyway, the scan is the first chance we really have for someone else - someone in a position of authority - to say "Congratulations, you are right, you're pregnant!" This is what is the scary thing. My wife has spent a fair bit of time online looking at forums, and every other post seems to be about missed miscarriages that haven't been apparent to the unsuspecting mums-to-be. They seem like they're going to their scans and being told "sorry, baby stopped developing x weeks ago".

Whilst such events do happen, they are magnified in their regularity by these forums, where seemingly only bad news is posted. So, we now take with an unhealthy bucket of salt all that we read! But the upshot is, that I won't be able to relax till the scan.

In the meantime, we pretty much have names sorted for both boy and girl, even though the health authority that we stay in will not state the sex of the wee one. Because of this (and cause they're cool), all being well, later on in the pregnancy we're contemplating getting one of the 3D scans done privately. With a bit of luck, they'll be able to point us down the right direction as to whether it'll be a boy or a girl. It's a cliche, but so long as it's healthy, I really don't mind.

As for my better half, she seems to be coming out of the chronic tiredness that has plagued her for about 6 weeks and which has been a massive frustration for her, seeing as she is normally so active. The bump's starting to show too, and her tummy is mega hard! She's done brilliantly not drinking, and I have cut down by a fair degree too, which makes me feel much better. The more I see her, the more I know she'll be a great mum.

As for me - well, I heard my dad said that he thinks I'll be a good dad. I hope so - it's a privilege to be looked up to in such a way, and for all my past mistakes, I hope I'm up to it. It's a horrible world out there in many ways, so I have to make sure that for bubs and my other half, when we're at home, it's a safe happy place.

And on that note, I'd better get the housework done! More updates, more regularly to come, including Fatherhood books, maternity leave, and the Routine Method!